Our Modern Family

A New Father's Views on Adoption, Family & Relationships

Archive for the tag “Birth Parents”

Do You Think He Has Just a Little Bit of Irish in Him?

Happy To Be irish

If you ever ask yourself, What’s In A Name? For our family I’d have to say a lot.  If it had not been for my last name, Jenn and I may never have met which would have decidedly put a completely different spin on our story.

It started when I introduced myself to Jenn’s brother Rich and he immediately said “Jenn you have to meet this guy, mom would love him”.  I’m not going to kid myself and think this had anything to do with me being the best looking guy that night or even the most interesting.  Rather it was because of my Irish last name.

The funny thing is that my family is a few generations removed  while Jenn’s mother grew up in Ireland and still has a lot of family there. So in essence I am just a poser and she brings most of the heritage to our family.

When I first met Jenn’s family, I quickly earned the nickname “The Leprechaun” from her nieces and nephews.  Although I have never heard a leprechaun that said “ya’ll”, the nickname stuck.

When Nolin was about 4 weeks old, we went to Pennsylvania and he met the nieces and nephews who embraced him just as quickly as they embraced me. One night as our youngest niece was holding Nolin she leaned over to Rich (a little concerned that Nolin may not have inherited my leprechaun genes), and quietly asked “Do you think he has just a little bit of Irish in him?”

We had a similar experience on the last night of our Honeymoon in Belize.  Both stories have given us quite a laugh.

As we checked into the front desk of the hotel, the owner’s daughter excitedly said, “The O’Brien’s are here, we have been waiting for you!”  At first we thought this was because they were excited that we were newlyweds.  Then she said, “my friend wants to meet you”.

All of the sudden a very large Hispanic man walks out of the back…oh great this is one of those Lifetime movies my mom watches where the foreign vacation goes terribly wrong.  In a loud, very boisterous voice he proudly proclaims “We’re brothers”.  It seems our friend was also an O’Brien, and couldn’t wait to meet us.  We spent the rest of the evening hanging out with him…my brother from another mother.  It is one of our fondest memories of our Honeymoon.

This weekend, Nolin got to test his Irish roots as we attended the Winter Park St. Patrick’s Day Parade.  It was here that I realized that everyone has  a little Irish in them.  While it may not be in heritage, it seems everyone is Irish in spirit (at least around March).

Nolin got dressed up in his Kiss Me I’m Irish shirt and his Hanna Hat and I put on my Whose Your Paddy shirt and matching Hanna Hat.  I can honestly say that Nolin had a blast at the parade.  He enjoyed the spectacle of of it all as well as watching Jenn’s mother, aunt & uncle march with the Irish heritage group.

Like Father Like Son

As Nolin grows up I hope that he will be as excited to embrace his Irish heritage as Jenn and I are to learn and teach him about the cultures of his birth parents.  In our family it will be important for each of us to understand our histories and embrace all of the amazingly unique things that they offer.

As Saint Patrick’s Day approaches, we’ll all find our inner Irish.  As I have learned throughout the years that the bonds created in name can be just as strong, so if the question ever came up again, I would simply answer “Of course he has a little Irish in him… after all he is as O’Brien!”

Marching In The St. Paddy's Day Parade

National Adoption Awareness Month

November is a special month for our family. It is National Adoption Awareness Month. I recently received a calendar that gave a list of things you should do each day in November to celebrate and promote adoption. One was to write a blog to tell people about adoption.

Easy enough I write about adoption and how it has changed my life pretty frequently. So today I decided to take a different approach and instead of celebrating all of the amazing ways that Nolin and adoption have changed Jenn & I’s lives, I’d like to celebrate all of the people who made it possible.

First and foremost, I’d have to thank Nolin’s birth parents. We are lucky enough to have an open adoption, so we still keep in contact with them. It was their care and love that helped them create an adoption plan for Nolin that changed our lives. As invested as I am in this process, I still can’t imagine how difficult and selfless that decision was.  It always feels rewarding when we meet with them and see how much they truly love Nolin and how they have peace with their decision.

I also have to thank our social workers at Catholic Charities, who made this process so easy. Through the classes and counseling they provided, I have to say I think I felt more prepared to welcome Nolin into our lives with 3 weeks notice than if I had had 9 months to prepare. They work countless hours (and all hours of the night) to work with both birth mothers and adoptive families to create positive outcomes. While I think situations like ours provide subtle rewards for these individuals, I wont begin to think I could ever truly understand the emotional aspect of their day-to-day jobs. I would have to say, that they could never be thanked enough.

Of course I have to thank our family and friends. We could never have imagined how much support and love everyone has shared with us. I know that no matter what, Nolin will always know he is loved and as a parent that is all you can ask for.

Next I’d like to thank everyone who has ever asked a question or sought advice. I know that sometimes it can be intimidating because people are afraid they may say something that will offend or be insensitive. Just know that the fact that you are asking shows you care and has provided opportunities for both Jenn and I to share our positive experience with adoption.

I’d also like to thank all of the families and people we have met (and have not met) that have been or are involved in the adoption process and/or have chosen to become foster parents. Unfortunately some kids are faced with difficult challenges during their lives, and this process and these individuals have opened my eyes to what a difference can be made when children grow up feeling loved and supported.

Finally, I need to thank Nolin.  My son as you get older I hope that one day you understand how you have changed my life, attitude and perspective.

For more information on Adoption & Foster Care:

Adoption Council

Catholic Charities Central Florida

President Obama’s Adoption Proclamation

Transracial / Transcultural Adoption

U.S. Infant Adoption

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