As our kids get older, the conversations will get a little more difficult. Most likely starting with the observation that we don’t really look a like?
To be honest we have not really gone full speed ahead in addressing these issues at this time, but we have not ignored them. Grace obviously would not get it at all at this point. Nolin occasionally asks questions, but can’t fully wrap his head around it, and then usually moves on to something way more interesting like black holes or his animal friends.
A while back we realized he understood there were differences between everyone in our family even if he didn’t fully understand why. He talked about how Mommy & Daddy were light brown (let’s be fair daddy is unfortunately more pink than any shade of brown), he was brown and Grace was dark brown.
It’s these moments when you sit back and do realize that our family is a little different. Because Grace & Nolin have picked up so much of our family’s personality you can sometimes briefly forget.
Nurture vs. Nature…it will be the interesting question over the years.
The other night while Nolin & I were brushing his teeth getting ready for bed, he looked at me in the mirror and said Daddy, you and I have the same nose.
Well {short pause}…not exactly the same.
Well Daddy, they are pretty much the same. Our hair is the same too.
Well {no pause}…our hair is really not the same at all, but I think you’ve got great hair.
I know, our hair is not the same, but our chins are pretty much the same {with a huge smile on his face as he examined his chin in the mirror}. They’re both pretty good.
I laughed a little bit as I looked at him being very proud that he was pointing out our similarities…Yeah, you know what Nolin, we do have similar chins.
And the same skin!
Nolin?!, I gave him a sarcastically puzzled look, Now does our skin really look the same?
No…your light brown and I am brown. But it is close enough.
I really couldn’t disagree with his logic…It is close enough…but I would love to have your skin color!
I can only hope that in his mind, while he sees and understands that there are differences, he continues to see the similarities.
The differences will always make up who we are, but as Grace and Nolin grow up, I only hope that Jenn and I can show them that those differences do not define us any more than our similarities.
This past weekend we once again marched in the Saint Patrick’s Day Parade. Nolin sat on my shoulders the entire walk waving his Irish magic wand to the crowd, while Grace sat in the stroller and did a perfect parade wave to the crowd the entire time. It was hysterical and she had a ton of fans.
It’s a long day, and as we were leaving Nolin was once again on my shoulders, but Pap-Pap offered to carry him for a bit. I eagerly obliged. After a short stop, Nolin ended up back on my shoulders but as we were getting close to the car, he started asking to get back on Pap Pap’s shoulders.
Nolin, we’re almost back to the car {trying to reason with him}, you can get on Pap-Paps shoulders later.
No dad, I need to get on Pap-Pap’s shoulders…we’re brothers.
You’re brothers? Really?! I was interested to see how he would explain this observation.
Yes, we both have buttons…we’re brothers!
You both have what?! About this time Pap-Pap walked up and helped transition Nolin from one set of shoulders to the other.
We both have buttons on our hats…so we’re brothers! They are different colors, but they are both buttons which makes us brothers.
I smiled…if only we could all see the world this way.
A terrific blog today.